Her Parents' Girl

Clara is certainly her Mama and Daddy's little girl. She can't get enough of our horses. She is fearless around them and loves to pet them, ride them, just be near them. Once you put her on you better be prepared because it's nearly impossible to get her off. :) Yesterday she had a blast riding Paladin (while posing as a movie star!).

Last weekend while we were staying at our friends' Clara loved being so close to the horses. She got to help feed Paladin in the morning,

say hello to the big boys (2 Percherons),

 

and ride Mama and Daddy's horses in the pasture as the sun set over the hills. What a life!

Like all good horse people, she learned to always close the gate behind her. We're starting her young!

Time Out/Discipline Question

In our house we mostly use time outs when discipline is required. Usually, the scenario goes like this: Clara is asked or told to do something (i.e. pick up her toys); if she does not want to, she will scream (not continually, one or two loud screams in my direction) and sometimes throw whatever toy happens to be in her hand onto the floor. She knows that we only scream outside. When she screams, I pick her up (without comment or agitation) and carry her to her time out chair.

Here is where my question comes in. Up til now I have been setting the timer and she is expected to sit in her chair until the timer goes off. Then, before she gets out of the chair I ask her why she was in time out ("I was screaming. Need to obey Mommy."), she needs to apologize ("Sorry for screaming Mommy. Will you please forgive me?") and we have hugs and kisses before returning to the situation. She is always ready for lots of hugs and usually says, all on her own, "We need to pick up toys" or "I need to obey Mommy," whatever she didn't want to do beforehand.

Lately, though, she has started getting off the chair before the timer beeps. She will get down quietly, then come running and giggling towards me. She knows she's supposed to stay in the chair and I think that she's trying to see if she can get out of it. But part of me wonders if she is ready for reconciliation sooner. What I have been doing is simply picking her up and returning her to the chair with no comment or interaction, then resetting the timer for a few seconds longer than she had left when she got down. The past couple of days I have had to do this up to 6 times during a two-minute time out on a couple of occasions.

I believe that consistency is very important, but I have been thinking about changing the time out structure. Instead of setting the timer, I would tell her, "You may come out of time out when you are ready to obey and be polite to Mommy," or something like that. Then, when she gets down we would have the same discussion we usually do when the timer goes off. This puts more of the responsibility on her. It gives her an opportunity for faster reconciliation. But I feel like it's also not quite as clear cut as a specific amount of time. If she comes out still grumpy and unwilling to cooperate, of course she would go right back in time out.

Thoughts? Other ideas or suggestions?

Kisses for Daddy Series

Have I said before how much these two love each other? Or how much fun they have together? Or how much alike they are? Yes? Oh, okay. Well, sorry for the repeat, but I'll say it again - these two have a blast together and they are like two peas in a pod. They had a little fun at dinnertime tonight:

Like Father, Like Daughter

Think this little girl is her father's daughter? Take a look at their faces in this series of photos:

 

 

 

 

 

"What you doin' Daddy?"

 Watching these two together makes me smile every time.

Tea Party!

While we had Clara's main birthday party in Montana with family, Clara requested a tea party with a few close friends. We had lots of little foods - mini heart-shaped sandwiches, fruit salad with cantaloupe and watermelon balls scooped out with a quarter teaspoon, crackers and cheese, mini cheesecakes, mini carrot cupcakes, mini lime squares. And, of course, tea! 

Clara was much more animated during the present opening this time around.

 

 

I love the look on our friend Kristen's face here!

Blowing out her candles! She did it so fast on her actual birthday that we didn't get a picture; this time it took her a little longer.

Helping herself to more crackers with her new diaper bag for Baby Joy (big hit!).

 

She finished off the night hiding under a blanket from the thunder with her friend Annabelle, reading books while Daddy provided some music. All in all, a great night!

 

Sadly, I don't have any pictures of the table full of fun food. I think our friends got some though, so I may be able to add one later. We had so much fun, though next year I definitely want to have more than three days between getting home from vacation and throwing a birthday party!

Happy Birthday Clara!

Today you are TWO! We started the day off with snuggles in bed.

 

We visited some sweet friends.

 

 You helped Daddy on the tractor.

After your nap we watched the neighbor bale hay.

We had some fun at dinner. You drank from a big glass, and patted yourself on the back when it went down the wrong goozle.

 

 After dinner you opened presents, which was a very serious process.

The presents were lots of fun!

Then you blew out your candles (on the first try!) and we had some cake on little plates.

You had a bath, said, "Thhank you!" when Mama rinsed your hair (pure grace, that one!) and got to play with your new Doodler a little bit before bed.

Mama sang to you and Daddy came in and kissed you goodnight. We listened to you singing and squealing with Baby Joy while we washed the dishes, and then you got quiet. Sweet dreams, little girl! We love you more than you'll ever know and hope you had a Happy Birthday!

Putting Up

So far this year (pictures to come):

4 pints of Gingered Sweet Relish and 4 pints of regular Sweet Relish (with some carrot added)

8 pints of Garlic Dill slices

7 pints of Bread & Butter slices

4 8oz jars of Blueberry-Rhubarb Jam, 4 4oz jars of Blueberry Butter

8 8oz jars and 2 4oz jars of Blueberry Jam (1 jar given away already)

From earlier in the year (a few have been given away already) - 5 8oz jars and 2 4oz jars each of Strawberry Jam and Rhubarb Marmalade

Up next: Tomatoes! I am hoping to do some sauce, some diced and some crushed, although I'm not thrilled with how my tomato plants are looking. I may do some local pick-your-own tomatoes as well.

In the fall I plan on at least 24 quarts of applesauce and 6-12 pints of apple butter.

Hopefully my poor stove survives the season - it was not built to hold the weight of my canner full of food! The burner is twisting and the stovetop itself is getting warped from the reflected heat and weight. Guess I better start saving for a new stove!

Hallelujah Girl

Clara is my hallelujah girl. Randomly throughout any given day she will start singing "hallelujah" or ask me to sing it for her. Whenever we sing in church she always starts singing "hallelujah," no matter what the words are. If we are driving in the car and listening to music, often she will say, "Pretty moosic Mama! Girl sing hallelujah!" Even if the person is not singing anything related to "hallelujah." We have a few "hallelujah songs" that we sing. This is the one that started it all. She first started singing "hallelujah" after hearing the chorus of this song, which I agree is beautiful:

Hallelujah by Bethany Dillon

Another "hallelujah song" that we sing after hearing it on one of our Pandora stations is this one. Clara was singing, "Hallelujah sometimes..." at dinner tonight:

Better Than a Hallelujah by Amy Grant

We also love to "sing hallelujah" in any of the following ways. We have a blast mixing it up and which one we choose often depends on our mood.

The Hallelujah Chorus always puts a smile on Clara's face and makes her giggle.

This is a common one for us. Though the beginning is cut off, I had to include these kids because they're so cute. :) We sang it as a round with our friends in the blueberry patch the other morning just as the sun was turning the dew drops to diamonds and it was beautiful!

And here's another sweet baby girl who, apparently, is also learning to sing hallelujah! Clara thinks this one is fun but doesn't love it as much as the Hallelujah Chorus.

Every time she starts singing hallelujah it puts a smile on my face and makes me so thankful for this little one who, though unknowingly, does so much to point me towards Jesus and remind me to praise Him always and "sing hallelujah" in all circumstances.

Clara moments

"Hello? Hello, Poppy! Hi Poppy! Heeeellloooooo, Poppy!"
"Clara, who's Poppy?"
*smiling mischievously* "Hi, Poppy! Hello, Pop! Hi Pop. Hiiiiii, Pop!"
"Clara, who's Pop?"
"Hi, Pop! Hello, Pop!"
"Clara, Pop who???"
"Pop.... CORN!" *much laughter and giggling* "Funny joke!"

~~~

*looking out our bedroom window first thing in the morning* "Puppy dog in road! ... Horsey in road!"
*Luke checks the window* "There's no puppy in the road!"
"Elephant in road!" *giggles* "Cars in road. Cars going by fast. Cars..... cars eat grass." *more giggles*

~~~

"Mama, get out crib."
"You want me to get someone out of your crib?" *thinking her bear, bunny, etc.*
"Uh HUH."
"Who do you want me to get out of your crib?"
"Get.... Kai-yine (her friend Karoline) out crib!"
"You silly girl, Karoline's not in your crib!"
"Get.... Ah-bewwy (friend Annabelle) out crib!"
"You're so silly. Annabelle's not in your crib! Would you like Jija?"
"Uh HUH! Jija have diaper on!"

~~~

"Clara, does this doll have a name?"
"Uh huh."
"What's her name?"
"Olson!"
"Does she have another name? Your name is Clara Olson, does she have another name?"
"Uh HUH!"
"What's her name?"
"Emmy LISbeth!" (i.e. Emily Elisabeth - she's a little obsessed with Clifford at the moment)

~~~

*At Bible study, someone says something about having the Holy Spirit*
"Mama, I'N have Howy Spiwit!"

Yes, baby girl, that is your mama's daily prayer.

Samuel and Peter

In my Bible reading I am currently in both 1 Samuel and Mark. I have to admit, sometimes I am jealous of all those Old Testament saints, like Samuel. From the time he was a young boy, there was never any doubt about the path of his life. God called him clearly at a young age in a voice so audible, he thought it was Eli! From that time on everyone around him recognized his calling and God clearly spoke through him for the rest of his life. I doubt he ever wondered what he would be when he grew up - that was pretty clear. Did he ever wonder if God had truly called him, if he was really living the life God wanted him to live, if there was something more or other that he should be doing for God? It certainly doesn't seem like he did. And he's not the only one. In many ways, life for the OT saints seems so much simpler, so much clearer. God told them to do something and they did it. Or they didn't do it, and then God sent someone to tell them where they had gone wrong, what the consequences would be, and how to get back on the right path. It doesn't seem like God left very much up to them other than the simple choice of whether or not to obey. And yes, that makes me jealous. And a little confused. Because where does that leave me?

Many times I feel like God is not so clear these days. It feels like he leaves a lot up to me. Many choices of what to do with my time, all good things and here I am, the optimizer, trying to make the best choice and feeling like maybe none of them are quite good enough. Sometimes it seems like He directs clearly in one way but then opens another, unexpected door and I wonder, is this a test? A distraction to be ignored? Or a God-given opportunity to be taken? What if I make the wrong choice? Who will come to me and say, "This is where you went wrong, this is what God wants you to be doing instead." Yes, sometimes God is very clear and I am thankful for His leading but so often I say to Him, "Just tell me what you want and I'll do it! Don't give me a choice, just tell me!" Because if I have a choice, I might make the wrong choice (i.e. not the best choice). And what then?

In times like these I am comforted by Peter. Dear, explosive, bumbling Peter the shaky Rock. He had such brilliant moments of clarity ("You are the Christ") followed by such grievously mistaken thinking ("Get behind me, Satan!"). He so passionately followed his Lord and yet his passion was so often misdirected. He jumped in all ready for action and said the wrong thing just because, "he did not know what to say" (Mark 9:6). He completely botched one of the biggest tests of all, denying his friend and Lord on the night He needed him most. He made a lot of wrong choices. He made a lot of mistakes. And yet God still graciously and powerfully worked through him to establish and lead His church. Honestly, sometimes I look at Peter and think, "God, why did you pick him??" But then I realize, oh yes, if you picked someone like him to lead your church, surely you can use me. With all my flaws. Even if I make the wrong choice sometimes. Even if I don't make the best choice sometimes. (And yes, those are two very different things.)

Not that I would turn down an audible voice or writing on the wall, either.

Blessed by a Stranger

Tonight I was immeasurably blessed by a complete stranger. I still have no idea who this person is. I have heard of things like this happening, but never experienced anything remotely like this myself.

Clara and I had a fun, but long day. We went strawberry picking with friends this morning, I dealt with our friends' "energetic" horse and taught 3 lessons while Clara talked away in the pack'n'play instead of napping, we took a long way home and eventually found the house I was looking for where we picked up some fresh local honey (that was sitting in front of the garage door, where I left a check in an envelope taped to the door - love the country!). Thirty minutes after we got home, Luke left to go help our friend stack hay for our horses.

Due to the non-napping, Clara went to bed early. Just before 6:30 I came out of her room and heard a car being started in my driveway! Strange, since Luke was gone. I had left my keys in my car when we got home and, although I wasn't exactly worried, I rushed to the front door just in time to see a small, unfamiliar silver car pull out of our driveway and drive away. Strange, I thought, although not too strange as people often turn around in our driveway. Then, as I turned around to come back inside, I happened to look down. There on the step was this:

The note reads: "Hi! :) I see you outside with your child - saw you one day planting and her right by your side. Saw this and thought it fit you even though I do not know you. I am just a neighbor happy to see someone making a difference. :)"

Wow! I am still blown away by the kindness and thoughtfulness of this person who took notice and sought to encourage a complete stranger. I only wish I knew who he or she was so I could thank them in person! But this public thanks will have to do for now.

I absolutely love my job as a mom and value my role as a mother. But sometimes I do wonder, couldn't I be doing more? More for others? More for God? God seems to be answering me lately in very specific ways. Last week there was this post from another mom I love to read, writing about a young girl whose story has inspired me but also sometimes caused me to wonder if I am giving enough, living enough of a poured out life and shouldn't I be doing what she is doing and my heart aches for brown faces and my birth soil. This week there were two posts: here and here on the importance of motherhood, pouring into the children we've been given and seeing what God sees in them.

And then, today, this. A stranger saw and took notice. How much more does my God see and take notice? Of the moments I didn't raise my voice, the million and one repetitions of Clifford or Pooh Bear, the dishes, the laundry, the snuggles with a cranky toddler who is caught somewhere between clinging tight and pushing away. The small things. The life that sometimes feels small yet still overwhelming.

Thank you, Father. I am listening.

No Neutral

This phrase defines my life right now: "...there are no neutral moments in a young child’s life..."
As I was contemplating this morning what it is about parenting that has become so much more challenging since my sweet, cherubic baby became a toddler, this is the phrase I was searching for. When I read it in the article, I knew. That's it! My daughter no longer has a "neutral." It is either full steam ahead or burning rubber in reverse (I know, mixing metaphors). It is, "Dress! Skirt! Dress! Skirt! .... Dress. .... NO, SKIRT!!!" She is shaking hysterically with laughter one moment and bawling in dejection the next. She goes from, "Get DOWN!" to "Come 'ere, Mama," from "All by SELF!" to "Maaamaaa, help youuuuu" and back again in a matter of milliseconds.

I have heard this described as the toddler's search for independence. But it seems to be not so much about independence itself as about the conflict between desiring autonomy and fearing desertion, craving space but needing closeness. Perhaps this tug-of-war between freedom and stability is in sharper relief because our dear friends' oldest daughter just graduated from high school and I see the same conflict in her as she prepares to leave for college. Needing to assert herself but still wanting approval, love and acceptance. Seeking to discover and define herself apart from her family but still needing to feel connected, rooted, safe.

When I take the time to think about my daughter's tantrums and dizzying mood swings in this light, I am able to feel more compassion, less frustration. More understanding, less confusion. I see so much of myself in her. "Thanks God, but I can handle this one..... oh, wait! God?? A little help please?" "Let's choose that option. Ooooor, this one? No, that one. Okay, yes, this one's better. ...or is it that one?"  It makes me wonder, does God get tired of my antics? There are so many ways this parallel applies to my life, I certainly don't have time or space to contemplate them all here. But one of the things I am learning from my little girl's constant flow of extreme emotions is the importance of creating a neutral. With her we are working on taking deep breaths and using our words to communicate. In my own life I am working on creating spaces and times to pause, let the Holy Spirit breathe through me and allow God's Word to communicate to me. I hope to teach my daughter this as well. To give her a "neutral" - a place she can always come back to and rest. A Person she can always rest in, even in that distant but all-too-near future when she is no longer in my home and I am not there to look her in the eyes, hold her close and whisper, "Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Just breathe."

Favorite Moments

Clara (while squatting next to Daddy's boots, which she had just helped him polish. Said in a loving tone): Shiny, shiny... so shiny...... Hello, Shiny!

In the car tonight on the way home from a friend's graduation:
Clara: I see Sadie Mae! (said in a high voice - what we usually say when we get home) ... Where ARE you Sadie Mae? (holding her blankie up over her face) Hiding!
... Mommy, like some cheese.
Me: I don't have any cheese, Clara, you ate it all.
Clara: Mommy, like some cheese.
Me: You ate all the cheese, Clara, I don't have any.
Clara: Please, Mommy, like some cheese!
Me: Clara, the cheese is all gone. I don't have any more cheese.
(a pause)
Clara: Mommy, like some... cornbread! (Don't know where she got this from, we haven't had cornbread in quite awhile!)
Me (trying to hold back laughter): I don't have any cornbread, sweetie. All the food is at home.
Clara: Mama get some OATmeal ready!
... later, while talking about going to her friends' house tomorrow:
Clara: Bankie come us.
Me: Yes, blankie can come with us.
Clara: Pay ou-side fends!
Me: Yes! You can play outside with your friends.
Clara: Bankie pay ou-side us.
Me: No, blankies are just for inside.
Luke: Blankies are for catching sleep with... (in an undertone) kind of like for catching bats.
Clara: Catch bats! Catch bats bankie! Daddy catch bats bankie!
Luke: Maybe tomorrow, honey. Maybe Daddy will rope a bat tomorrow. Would you like that?
Clara: Uh huh! Daddy rope bat to-mah-woah.

When she sees anything she wants: "CA-ra (how she says her name) may have some!"

Then and Now

I took a picture of Clara today and felt a moment of deja vu. Sure enough, I took a very similar picture last summer! Here they are - on the left she is 10 months and on the right she is just shy of 20 months.

I can't believe both how different she is and how the same. I knew she had grown, but seeing where the couch hit her before and where it does today was a shocker! Also, she has 100 times more hair than she did. :) Interestingly enough, though her body shape is totally different, the diaper cover is on the exact same settings - her waist and rise haven't changed much, although her inseam certainly has!

My baby girl is getting so grown up, which is both wonderful and heartbreaking.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cheesecake with Pretzel Crust

Over here. My, oh my, this is delicious!