What Has Surprised Me

When Clara was little (as in, only a few weeks or months old) people asked me all the time, "What has surprised you about being a parent?"

Honestly, I was stumped for an answer. I don't mean this in a stuck-up way, because I certainly don't have all the answers and there were definitely times I had plenty of questions, but not much surprised me when I became a parent.

I think there are some stock answers to the question, such as: "I never knew I could love something this much," or, "I never knew I could be this tired and still function," or, "I never knew babies ate so much/went through so many diapers/etc....." But really and truly, none of that surprised me. When I told people that, I got lots of incredulous looks. I've been told motherhood looks "natural" on me, and I suppose that's true.

This past month, though, I have had my first BIG surprise as a parent. At first it was just a vague feeling in the back of my mind. But it slowly got stronger. The first time the thought actually crystallized in my head, I was shocked. You could have knocked me over with a feather. It was so contrary to everything I have ever pictured about my family and myself as a parent. When I expressed this wild thought to Luke, I couldn't believe I was actually saying it, that these words were actually coming out of my mouth.

What was this unthinkable thought that blew me out of the water?

I could be happy with just one. This one would be enough.

Perhaps this does not seem so revolutionary to some of you, but for as long as I can remember I have wanted a big family. Lots of kids. I slowly worked on Luke while we were dating and engaged until his "ideal family size" went from 2 kids to 2-3 to 3-4 to "about 4." I have always felt sorry for only children, having no siblings to play with, and assumed that since I love kids I'd have lots of them. For a long time I thought only children were spoiled and that it was better for kids to have siblings. Lately I have been rethinking many of these assumptions.

Clara is such a joy. She is the cutest, sweetest, smartest, funniest little girl I know. She has been a "good baby" right from the beginning. Sure, we've had rough patches, but even while we were going through them there have always been shining moments of joy and laughter to keep us going. She puts a smile on our faces at the end of a long day. Her huge smile is what motivates me to get up in the morning after a long night (I don't sleep well). She can brighten up any moment of the day in a million ways. Her hugs and kisses melt our hearts. She is truly the light of our lives.

I could be completely happy just being her mom. Seriously, who wouldn't be happy with just this little girl?!

In fact, it is hard to imagine adding another child to the mix. It makes me sad to think that another child would necessarily mean less one on one time with my sweet girl. Less focused attention from her Daddy, who already wishes he had more time with her than he does. Fewer opportunities to just sit and watch her play, learn and discover the world around her.

Furthermore, Clara is such a blessing, could we really be so lucky twice? Three times? What if we had another baby and it just wasn't that fun? Or it was really crabby? Or - here's the kicker - what if it was just as cute and wonderful as Clara? What in the world would we do then? As Luke said to Clara at dinner the other night, "We'd just burst!!!" A person can only stand so much incredible cuteness at once, I have to think.

I hear a certain someone waking up from her nap, singing away in her room, so I need to end. I should say, though, that I don't feel our family is complete. Luke and I both believe there are more children in our future. Whether they will be biological, foster, adoptive or some other kind of kid, we don't know, but we do know they're out there somewhere ahead of us. But for now, we are very happy with our sweet girl. And I will always have a better understanding of parents who decide to only have one child.

And now I'm off to get some baby hugs. :)

Tonight's reaction to the instructions, "Smile for the camera!"

Words This Week

"Apple"
"Up" (while climbing the stairs at our friends' house)
"Down" (on same stairs)

And valiant attempts at "Karoline" and "Becca."

Applesauce...

over here...

Clara's Words

I've always heard people ask what a baby's first word was, or when he or she started talking. I never thought much about that. But now, I realize how silly it is to ask what the first word was. Clara has been communicating well since she was a baby. At 10 months she started signing consistently and our communication improved. Now, at 13 months, she still signs and has begun to use some words consistently and others off and on. I realized that I'm not sure when exactly she started talking. It wasn't a sudden thing. It has been a gradual process, with lots of starts and stops along the way. That said, here is a list of Clara's "words" - some that she uses often, others that she has only said a couple of times:

Mama (mostly combined with the sign for "please" when she wants something, but used other times as well)
Dada (used like "mama" but when talking to Luke)
uh oh (her favorite word at the moment)
shoe
applesauce (she said this one for the first time this morning, clear as day!)
Yeehaw! (guess who taught her that one!)

Animal noises (many of these have been around longer than most of the words):
woof woof (sounds more life "fff, fff" - she loves the "f" sound!)
bah bah (for chicken)
rr rr (rooster)
nnnnn (in pitch for horse/pony)
mmmmmoo (cow)
lulululu (peacock)
ha ha (goose)
baaa (sheep)
ooww (kitty cat)
(these last 3 are not as regular, they're more in progress)

Words she has said once or twice:
Papa
Gramma (gah...MA!)
Amen (sounds more like mama at the moment)
Ni ni (night night)
Buh buh (bye bye)
hat
ears
eye

Besides these words, she talks in her own language constantly. Our house is filled with chatter! She has lots to say and it is so fun to hear some of it becoming distinguishable from the babble!

Scrumptious Yogurt and Butter...

... over at Good Food. Mmmmm...

Discovering Again Why I Ride

I have been riding horses for over 20 years now. That's hard to believe! My first riding lesson was a gift for my 7th birthday. So the 27th birthday I just celebrated was a milestone in many ways! I don't think anyone could have guessed 20 years ago how big of an impact horses would have on my life. Without them, I would not be the person I am today. I probably wouldn't be married to my husband. I most certainly would not be living where I am. I can't even begin to imagine all the ways my life would be different.

When I was little, I rode simply because I loved horses. Through high school, I enjoyed the friends I made and I also did chores at the farm, but it was still the passion for the animal that kept me coming back every day, getting up at the crack of dawn (or earlier) for shows, and spending every spare minute I could riding, thinking about, or just being with horses.

After college, I took a job as a trainer, assistant manager, riding teacher, and pretty much all-around right-hand-woman to my friend and high school trainer at her new farm. I threw myself into the work, fully committed to my job and thankful I could make money doing something that was also a passion (an aside - other than babysitting, I have never held a job that did not include horses!). I regularly worked 70+ hour weeks, was on call any time of the day or night, and did everything from patching up wounds (or helping the vet do so) to polishing up expensive show horses before they went in the ring. Every "non-horse person" I knew thought I was crazy. But to Luke and I, when you work with animals, they are your life. They don't take a break from living or having needs, so you don't take a break from caring for them.

I also trained, often working with and riding five or more horses each day. The constant changing and adjusting to each different horse and each different issue was interesting and challenging. I learned a lot and am thankful for the experience I had.

But somewhere along the way I lost the joy. The pure, unadulterated love of horses I felt as a child. The reason I started riding in the first place. Somehow, training, riding, and working at the farm became more about pleasing my boss and proving myself to be a wonderful employee and friend than simply about the horses. I strove to always fulfill and attempt to exceed her high expectations - setting myself up for failure and her for disappointment. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed the work. But I also had this nagging knowledge and fear that I could never be quite good enough. Instead of being the best I could be, I wanted to be perfect.

Due in part to the fact that I had a baby and did not want to work full-time anymore, and also probably due in part to these unrealistic expectations that didn't allow my commitment of anything less than everything to be enough, I no longer work at that job or with horses in any professional capacity. Our personal horses live at a friend's house, where they are deliriously happy, having more room and grass than they had ever known before. I get to ride once or twice a week.

At first, I have to admit, this riding was boring to me. Of course, I was excited to ride my own horse again, but always riding the same horse was a little dull after being used to riding so many different horses in a week. I always enjoyed trail rides, but going out on the trail every ride got a little old. I felt like I wasn't "working on things" like I was used to doing in an arena 80% of the time.

But over the past weeks and months, I have started to catch glimpses of why I began riding in the first place. Exploring new fields and trails with my husband for an hour and a half is an absolute delight. Instead of being focused on correctly executing a complicated maneuver (and being frustrated when the horse and I can't get it "right"), I am pleased with one step in the right direction. I'm no longer worried about how much I have to accomplish with this particular horse in the next 11 days before it leaves - I know, with my own horse, there will always be tomorrow. We are on a journey together, which has no end or limit, only ever-increasing magnitudes of communication and unity.

I am slowly peeling back the onion, and last night it felt like I got to the core. Since our friends (and babysitters!) are gone on a trip, I was riding alone for the first time in awhile. Paladin and I trotted several familiar fields, and then discovered, through a hedgerow, a huge expanse of green hayfield, completely hidden from the road and any nearby houses, closed in from everything. We made our way into this little Eden and cantered its perimeter, perfectly in tune, rolling along together. And I thought, "ahh, yes, this is why I ride."

I'm joining Mommy....

over at Good Food, and I just blogged my first post! Come take a look, I don't think you'll be disappointed. :)

Being One is Fun!

Having a one-year-old is a blast. Clara is at such a fun age, straddling the line between baby and big kid, and we are enjoying both aspects to the fullest. I love the sweet moments she cuddles in and nurses contentedly when she's sleepy. I also love being tackled by a smiling little monster and rolling around in the yard giggling together!

Careening around the yard holding on to my fingers is currently her favorite activity. But every once in awhile she takes a break and sits down! She likes to ride her "truck" for a while: 

She also loves to hold Sadie's ball and throw it or simply give it to Sadie - she thinks it's hilarious when Sadie gently takes it out of her hand (as you can tell, Sadie is oftentimes forced to be more patient than she would like! I remind both my girls - and myself - daily that patience is a virtue.)

 

When Daddy gets home, he is always commandeered into the role of "walker" while I make dinner. Inevitably Clara ends up with something on her head whenever Daddy's around... 

Today's break in our mid-day exercise involved another fun activity: "driving" the lawn mower. As you can see, it took a lot of concentration!

Ah, a bit of rest after a long day's work. (Note the tongue - it has been hanging out of her open mouth most of the day due to a nasty cold. Although even when she doesn't have a cold, she still thinks it's pretty funny to stick her tongue out!)

Our Daily Pilgrimage

Clara loves being outdoors. I don't know if all young children go through a phase where they would rather spend every waking moment outside, but our little girl is definitely there. She wakes up in the morning, gets, dressed, and heads to the kitchen door. The story is the same after both naps and any other time she happens to be inside. She'll grab the closest hand and head to the door, asking, "aa-AH?" on the way and signing "please" when we get there. A negative response results in heartbroken sobs and floods of tears.

Needless to say, we've been spending a lot of time outdoors. We have lots of favorite activities to choose from, but not a single day has gone by in the past week without this one special trip, often taken multiple times a day. Holding on to the fingers of whoever happens to be with her at the moment, Clara will walk purposefully past the hammock, the camp chairs, and the lawn mower (all favorite places to sit and watch the cars go by), shaking her head in a vehement "no" if stopping is suggested. She heads up the slight incline in the backyard, under the crab apple and maple trees, to the back garden. The last of my green beans are hanging on, the butternut squash are about ready to harvest and, most important on Clara's list, the fall raspberries are ripe and plentiful. We had a decent harvest from last year's canes in the summer, but this year's canes are much more bountiful and a good number of berries ripen every day. Good thing, too!

Once we arrive at the garden, Clara plops down on the ground and starts "pleasing" frantically, interspersed with lots of pointing and exclamations of "ah, AH! Om. Ah. Om." It is my job to pick berries and hand them to her to be gobbled up as fast as I pick. If I'm not going fast enough she'll often crawl to the nearest cane and try to reach some for herself.

I'm so thankful my daughter is learning the delights of fresh fruit, straight from the source. Nothing makes me happier than being able to indulge her voracious appetite for raspberries from my own backyard. (To be honest, she loves bananas too, which will never be local or fresh in New England. But hey, it's all a work in progress.) So as long as the raspberries keep coming, you can bet we'll be making our daily pilgrimage to our own little Mecca of deliciousness.

Summertime is for... cold salads!

Between the local farmer's market and my garden, delicious fresh produce abounds this time of year! All this beautiful food inspires me to be creative in the kitchen. But with hot weather and no air conditioning, heating up my kitchen never sounds like a very good idea. Grilling is always wonderful, and we do that a fair amount. But lately, we have been eating a lot of cold salads. What I love about these scrumptious dishes is I can prepare them in the morning, when the house is still cool and Clara is napping, then whip them out at dinner time with no prep necessary. I also love that they provide a well-rounded, filling yet refreshing supper that leaves us saying, "Mmmmm, that was good..."

But enough talk about them, let's get down to business! Here are a few of the salads we've been enjoying lately:

Raw Kale Salad - we first tried this on a recommendation from my mom, and it is delicious! We put in mandarin oranges, dried cranberries, and raw almonds.

Lentil and Brown Rice Salad

This one is based off a recipe from my Better Homes & Gardens cookbook.

1/2 c brown rice
1/2 c dry lentils
2 c water
1/2 c shredded carrot
1/4 c diced onion
(1/2 c diced red or green pepper - optional, I didn't have any)

3 T olive oil
3 T lemon juice
1/2 t finely shredded lemon peel
1 T chopped fresh basil
1/4 t salt

Simmer rice in water for 20 minutes. Add lentils, cover, and simmer for 20-25 minutes more, until lentils and rice are al dente (you don't want them mushy). Remove from heat, let stand 5-10 minutes and then drain and rinse with cold water. Combine in a large bowl with remaining salad ingredients.

Combine dressing ingredients in a screw-top container and shake well til combined. Pour over salad and toss to coat. Cover and chill until dinner! (Best if it has at least 3 hours or so.) Serve garnished with tomato wedges and cheese slices if desired.

Note: this salad is so easy to "bulk up" for more people - simply increase the lentils and rice and add a little more dressing. The amounts are really flexible.

Barley and Bean Salad

Also based on a BH&G recipe.

1 c barley
1 1/4 c chicken broth or water
1-2 c cooked garbanzo beans (how much you add depends on how "beany" you like your salad - I use the larger amount. You can also just use 1 15-oz can if you don't normally cook your own.)
1 cup frozen peas
1 cup chopped cucumber
1/4 c diced onion
1 T snipped fresh rosemary (or 1 t dried)
1/2 c Italian Vinaigrette*

Simmer barley in broth or water til cooked through but still chewy, 20-30 min (depending on your barley). Combine with remaining ingredients in a large mixing bowl and toss to coat with dressing. Cover and chill until ready to serve.

*You can use any italian-style dressing you want. Here is the recipe for the dressing I used:
1/3 c olive oil (or oil of your choice)
1/3 c vinegar (I used red wine, you can use white wine or whatever you prefer)
2 t sugar
1/2 t dried oregano
1/2 t paprika
1 t mustard
2 T parmesan cheese
1/4 t celery seed
1 clove garlic, minced or pressed

Combine all ingredients in a screw-top jar and shake til well mixed. This makes more than what you need for the salad, so use the rest on fresh greens, as a marinade for chicken, whatever. :)

Waldorf Quinoa Salad

3/4 c quinoa
1/4 c millet
(or omit the millet and use 1 c quinoa)
2 1/4 c water
1 large apple, chopped

3/4 - 1 c red seedless grapes, halved
1/2 c raisins
dash salt
3/4 c walnuts, toasted and chopped

3 T lemon juice
2 T olive oil


Rinse quinoa well. Combine quinoa, millet and water in a saucepan, bring to boiling, reduce heat and simmer until just cooked through, 20-25 min. Remove from heat, fluff with a fork, cover and let sit for 5-10 min. Drain and rinse with cold water. Combine with everything except walnuts in a large mixing bowl. Drizzle with lemon juice and olive oil and toss to coat. Cover and chill. Just before serving, add walnuts and toss well. (You can add the walnuts earlier, they'll just get a little soft.)

I made this one for the first time on Saturday out of things I happened to have on hand. I'm still playing with it and thinking about maybe adding some yogurt to it next time. Craisins would also be good. If you make it, please let me know and share any ideas you have!

Black Bean and Corn Salad

My mom has always been the master of this salad. Like her, mine doesn't really have a recipe. This is one of our all-time favorite summer salads though, and we make it often with lots of variations. Below is a rough sketch of what I do.

1-2 cans black beans (or 2-4 c cooked black beans)
2-3 ears corn, kernels cut off (or about 1 c frozen corn kernels)
1/2 an onion, chopped
Any combination of the following:
Diced tomatoes (2-3)
1 red pepper, diced
1 avocado, peeled and diced (our favorite addition!)
1/2 c cheddar cheese, cubed
1/4 - 1/2 c chopped fresh cilantro or basil (we prefer cilantro, but I made it with basil over the weekend and it was good too)

Juice of 1 lime
A couple tablespoons olive oil
dash salt
Any of the following:
balsamic vinegar
cumin
chili powder

Combine black beans, corn, onion and any of the optional additions you're using in a large mixing bowl. Drizzle with dressing, toss to coat, cover and chill.

Here is one more I haven't tried yet but want to, again from BH&G:

Brown Rice and Vegetable Salad

1 1/2 c cooked brown rice
1 1/2 c coarsely chopped tomato
2 medium carrots, julienned (1 c)
1/2 c frozen peas
1/4 c thinly sliced green onions (2) (I often sub regular onion since I don't keep these on hand)
1 T snipped fresh parsley
1 T snipped fresh dill or basil
Lettuce leaves

3 T olive oil
3 T red wine vinegar
2 t dijon-style mustard
1 1/2 t sugar
1/8 t pepper

In a large bowl stir together salad ingredients (not lettuce leaves). Combine dressing ingredients in a screw-top jar and shake well. Pour over salad and toss lightly to coat. Cover and chill. To serve, line a salad bowl with lettuce leaves. Transfer salad to bowl.

Yum!

The timing of this post was inspired by Kelly - if you want more cold salad ideas, head on over to her Coldsaladpalooza!

A Full Lap

Clara was given many stuffed animals before she was born. I put most of them away, and have slowly brought them out as she has gotten older, but I still have some stashed in her closet. On Saturday while we were playing in her room, she spotted a crazy striped lion that one of my sweet students bought for her, and instantly started signing "please" and pointing to it. So I got it down, she played with it a bit and gave it lots of big hugs and kisses. I didn't think much of it.

Sunday Clara crawled in the living room while we were getting breakfast ready and soon we heard her squealing loudly in delight. Luke peeked around the corner and started laughing at her, swinging the lion back and forth over his head by his mane.

Sunday evening after bath Luke carried her in the living room while I was getting her pjs ready, and she again grabbed the lion and hugged it tightly. She didn't want to let go. She held onto it while I carried her in her room, rubbed lotion all over her, and put her diaper and pjs on. She was still hugging it tightly as we sat down to nurse.

When I put her down to sleep, she was still clutching the lion tight as could be with both arms wrapped around it. For both naps today she has wanted to hold the lion while nursing and has taken it to bed with her. Apparently she is in love. :) When she woke up from her morning nap, she was also playing with her pony and wanted to hold that for after-nap nursing as well as the lion and her mini blankie. My lap was very, very full. :)

When life gives you overripe bananas...

... make banana cookies! I had just one banana that was getting brown and a little too soft even for Clara, but I didn't want to waste it. I thought about making a small batch of banana bread, but wanted something healthier that Clara could snack on as an alternative to cheerios (which she loves). I have found this website helpful throughout Clara's introduction to solid foods, so I searched and found just what I was looking for: banana and oat teething biscuits! I (of course) modified the recipe a little bit, here's my version:

Mix together:
2/3 c oat flour (i.e. rolled oats coarsely ground in a coffee grinder)
1/3 c quinoa flakes (just because I had them - I'd do all oats too, or add in any other grain or flour you wish)
1/2 t baking powder
teeny tiny dash salt
dash each nutmeg and ginger (cinnamon and cardamom were also recommended, I didn't try them though)

Mix together and then add to dry ingredients:
1 overripe mashed banana
enough water to make 1/2 c liquid
dash vanilla extract

Mix well and drop onto a parchment-lined cookie sheet by the teaspoonful. Mush flat (mine were about the size of a silver dollar). Bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes or until the edges just turn brown. Remove to wire rack and let cool.

I have to say, they are really quite yummy! (as in, I have snagged my fair share of them too!) They are pretty sweet for not having any sweetener other than the banana. Clara LOVES them. She's not quite ready for them whole, I break them into even smaller pieces for her, but I'm thinking of trying a stick shape next time to see if that's better for her. I'm storing them in the fridge which seems to be working well. These will definitely become a regular around our house, and I'm thinking of other ways to make them too. I may try a savory version next with broccoli and a little cheese. Mmmm....

Daily Things

There are some things that are constant in life. I'm not talking about "big things" like God's love or the fact that there will always be turmoil in some part of the world. I'm talking about daily things. Like dishes. Like shedding (dog owners, you know what I mean). Like dirty clothes. "Chores" that are never truly "done." I came to a realization yesterday - it suddenly hit me that, in all likelihood, I will wash at least one dirty dish every day for the rest of my life. That is a lot of dishwashing!

Each and every day, usually during Clara's morning nap, I sweep all the floors in my house. Six months ago I would go several days sometimes between sweeping, but now that Clara is crawling around everywhere, I spend a much larger portion of my time cleaning floors than I ever have in my life.

No matter what else is going on, the laundry still needs to be done - and in this cloth-diapering house, with a Daddy that works at dirty jobs, that is a minimum of one load per day. The bathroom needs to be cleaned.

Usually, I don't mind these tasks. I love the look of a shiny sink and a clean kitchen; knowing the end result motivates me to keep up on my dishes. I always feel productive while cycling loads of laundry, because I can do something else while it's washing or drying - yay for multitasking! There is something peaceful, relaxing and very rewarding about having a clean and organized home. But while I don't resent the everyday tasks of cooking, cleaning, and doing dishes, I don't always treasure them or make the most of them.

This is the true realization that came to me yesterday: in all the hours I will spend sweeping, doing dishes, folding laundry, what else will I be getting done? How much more benefit could be reaped from this time if, instead of simply thinking of the next task or (worse) mindlessly going about my chores, I spent each moment in prayer. When I wash dishes, I could be thanking God for His loving provision of healthy food for our family, for the time we are able to spend together around the table, and praying for those who have no dishes to wash, who will go hungry tonight. As I sweep the floors, I can be thankful for a home, for a husband who works hard to provide for us, for a little girl who crawls around and makes messes. When I switch the laundry, fold clothes or hang diapers up to dry, I can thank God again for His provision of clothing, I can think of others around the world hanging their clothes to dry, I can pray for those less fortunate who go cold for lack of clothes or who only have one shirt, one pair of pants to wear.

This is a good start. It takes my eyes away from me and my "work" and sets them on God and His faithfulness. On the days when my attitude is not one of cheerfulness or thankfulness it reminds me of the many blessings in my life. But I still want to go one step further. At different times in life I have used daily routines as "hooks" or reminders to pray for specific things. When Clara was brand new I often used her middle-of-the-night nursings to pray for the many mothers and new babies that were born around the same time. Those were such peaceful moments, quiet and prayerful with my little babe in the darkness. I have not decided on all my "hooks" just yet, but here are a few I'm thinking of: when I change Clara's diaper, I can think of and pray for each of my family members, whose pictures are on the wall above her changing table. Each time I clean the bathroom I will pray for our nation and our leaders, for wisdom and God's hand and leading on their lives, for revival in our land. These hooks do not have to be related, they simply have to be linked in your mind.

What are your hooks (perhaps they have developed without you even noticing!)? How are you using each minute of every day for God's kingdom? In what ways can you build a more prayer-full, purposeful way of living?

It's coming in!

I'm SO excited about our garden this year! I was probably a little overzealous with our seed-ordering, but I'm looking forward to seeing how things do and being even more organized for next year. Everything is in now, and I'm just maintaining, weeding as necessary (pretty often, with all the rain we've had!), thinning as the plants get big enough, and watching things grow. Here are some pictures from yesterday:

This is the little spot I had last year where I did tomatoes, basil and zucchini. This year there are 4 kinds of tomatoes (little mama - a roma, sweet 100 cherry, porterhouse beefsteak, and golden mama - a yellow roma that keeps its color when cooked), a row of basil (just starting to sprout + a big plant I got from the nursery), a row of New Zealand spinach and an empty spot right front for planting later in the season for fall greens. The cherry tomato already has one tiny tomato on it! I can't wait for more!!!

This is part of the long bed I spent so much time weeding and digging this spring! My cucumbers are in the back, they have been partially thinned (they need more thinning, but that's my least favorite part of gardening - I hate pulling out healthy seedlings!). In front of them is a row of green beans that just went in last week, so they haven't sprouted quite yet.

The other half of the long bed: a double row of snap peas in the back, carrots in the middle (that just started coming in this week, yay!) and a row of lettuce in the front (the lettuce has barely come in, so I'm not sure if it's going to grow or not... we'll see!).

This is part of the back garden that was a very weedy raspberry patch. You can see on the lefthand side I left a couple of healthier raspberry canes, but most I pulled out. There's still a big patch to the right of this plot. The front row is green beans that didn't come in particularly well (so I planted more up front to see if they do better). The second two rows each have 3 hills of butternut squash that mostly look pretty good right now. I'm really hoping these do well, as we love butternut squash around here (Clara especially)! In between the hills are a couple of asparagus plants a client gave Luke last week - I had to stick them in somewhere and didn't really have anywhere else to put them! I'll probably move them eventually, but this is their temporary home. :)

My raspberries look lovely this year and have LOTS of tiny green berries, so I'm hoping for a good harvest. I think all that weeding I did in the spring paid off!

Our four blueberry bushes also have a fair number of green berries on them, even though I didn't do anything for them this year. I need to be good about picking as they ripen this summer; last summer we lost a good number to birds and bugs. Frozen blueberries are one of Clara's favorite foods (thawed and mixed with oatmeal for breakfast) so I know she's going to love the fresh ones from our bushes. I can't wait to pick them with her!

I look at my yard in a completely different way now: "hmm, where could I put another garden bed?" "what would be a good spot for _____?" Two plants I really wish I had are rhubarb and strawberries. Maybe next year. Also next year I am going to plan ahead and start more things indoors to get a jump on our short growing season here. But for now I am keeping loving watch over my little seedlings and looking forward to harvesting all through late summer.

Oh, and I'm also keeping an eye out for an extra freezer to keep some of our harvest in! If you hear of one in the area, let me know! :)

Prayer of a Budding Gardener

Oh Lord, let my heart be like good soil for You to work in. Let it not be hard, difficult to dig through, resistant to Your hand.

Remove the rocks, O God, though they be many - big boulders of pride, self-sufficiency, arrogance, and smaller (yet more numerous) stones of perfectionism, laziness, stubbornness. Discard the rusty nails of old wounds and grudges held onto. Work the soil of my heart, dig and break up the hardened portions, sift me through Your fingers until there is not a pebble or nail left.

Oh Lord, though the digging be tough and painful, work me through and through until I am completely yielded to You. Let me be soft soil in Your hand.

Proof of Life

Diapers drying.

For an explanation of this series, see Kelly's blog.

Crackers!

Yesterday I made hummus. But we didn't have any crackers in the house and I don't have money in my food budget to go and buy some. So I decided to make my own! I searched online and found a great article with tips and a couple of recipes. I decided to try the basic whole-wheat ones but, as with almost any recipe, I had to give it my own touch. So, I reduced the whole wheat flour by 1/4 c and added 1/4 c each of ground flax seeds and quinoa flakes (found at the discount food store).


I mixed the milk, honey and oil in my trusty Pyrex liquid measuring cup...


...and poured it into the dry ingredients.











It didn't take much stirring before the dough came together in a soft ball, which I turned out onto my lightly floured counter.

I kneaded for a minute or two, til the dough was soft and elastic ("like modeling clay" is what the original recipe called for), then pressed it down with my hand and rolled it flat and thin, turning every once in awhile to make sure it wasn't sticking. Once it was rolled out, I used my pizza cutter to make the sizes I wanted. Easy peasy!



This dough was a delight to work with - soft but not sticky, sturdy but not tough, smooth, elastic, and incredibly easy to handle, even when it was rolled very thin.

Once the crackers were cut I transferred them to a parchment-lined baking sheet and popped them in the oven, which was preheated to just below 300. Here are my first and second trays before going in the oven.









While the dough was easy to handle, transferring all those little crackers to the baking sheet was a tad tedious. Also, Clara woke up early from her nap in time to "help." So, with the 3rd sheet, I got smart - I simply rolled the dough out on the parchment paper, cut it with the pizza cutter, and popped it in the oven. Nothing easier! (I started cutting them on the diagonal, but it was taking too long and the dough was lifting up, so I switched to plain squares.)

The sheets got rotated every 8 minutes and cooked a total of 22-24 min. apiece. Here they are beautifully browned and crispy after coming out of the oven.






Ohhhhh my, these crackers are addicting! They are completely delicious and go beautifully with the hummus I made yesterday. They only took 25 minutes or so of active time (and next time even less since I'll cut all the crackers directly on the cookie sheets) - less time than it takes to run to the store and buy crackers, and MUCH easier than making that store-run with a 6 month old! I will be making these again soon!

Can she really be this old?

It's hard to believe that six months ago we were embarking on our first night as new parents of a precious little baby girl. Today at Bible study a friend had her 2-week-old little boy who was a tad larger than Clara was at birth, and he looked so tiny next to her! My baby looked so big, old and grown up next to that precious little boy, it was hard to believe she had ever been that small, and even more amazing to see how much she's grown. As he lay on a blanket, gazing at the lights and making tiny newborn noises, Clara sat up on her own, smiling and laughing at him, reaching towards him, patting the table and, every once in awhile, looking back at me as if to say, "Look mommy, isn't he cute?!" I wished I had my camera, it was a beautiful and surreal moment, seeing just how much she has grown and changed in the past six months. I love every minute with my alert, strong, interactive daughter, but it made me a little sad, missing the precious newborn that she was. It made her seem very old.

While we won't know for sure until her doctor's appointment on Friday, I'm pretty sure that Clara has now doubled her birthweight and is right around 18 lbs. She also seems to have really stretched out just in the last few weeks - when she stands up now she looks so tall! I think she has her Daddy's height genes for sure.

She is an absolute joy these days. Her talking has really exploded and includes a lot more variety now - it's not just squeals anymore (a bit of a relief, as fun as they were!), but lots of babbling, raspberries, "ha bla bla," "fffff," "hvvv bvvvv," and high pitched "aaa aaa aaa aaa" singing. We've determined she's definitely a soprano. :) She loves sitting up on her own and rarely tips over anymore. She still hasn't rolled front to back yet but rolls back to front all the time and just tonight pushed her bum straight up in the air while on her elbows and toes! Current favorite activities include: reading books in the big green recliner, sitting on Mommy's bed and talking to her reflection in the mirror on the bedroom door, helping fold diapers and playing peek-a-boo with the diapers, any kind of peek-a-boo, chewing on anything, playing with Mommy's phone, and eating solid foods!

Clara has been a solid food maniac from the moment she tried her first bite of rice cereal. Actually, to be totally honest, I must confess that, several days before that first bite, she had a few tiny pieces of cooked apple at a friend's house. We were eating apple crisp and she was desperately trying to get a taste, so I bit off a couple tiny pieces of mushy cooked apple and gave them to her. They instantly disappeared! Rice cereal followed for a little over a week, and has now been joined by avocado, banana and butternut squash. Last night Luke and I had steamed carrots and green beans as part of our dinner and Clara enjoyed playing with a couple of green beans herself. She didn't get much, but had a lot of fun! I have yet to find out how much she would eat, as she always wants more, even when the bowl is empty. Tonight I refilled her bowl 4 times and finally stopped feeding her because it was bedtime and I didn't want her little tummy to burst! Who knows how long she would have kept going! Tomorrow we will try pears, and in the next few weeks will add sweet potatoes, applesauce, green beans and peas. I am loving making Clara's food and she is loving eating it, so we make a great team!

I want so much to make every moment count with this precious little daughter of mine. I always dreamed of being a mom, and she has made it better than I ever could have imagined. Each day with Clara is a gift; I wish there was a way I could crystallize these joyous hours and save them in a jar to pull out each one and remember in 20 years exactly as it was. But since I can't I do my best to enjoy them to the fullest right now. They go by so quickly.

Happy six-month birthday pretty girl! Your Mommy loves you more than you'll ever know!

Taken this evening, just after she pushed up on her toes. My happy girl. :)

More Thanks

Tonight I am thankful for...

31. A sweet baby girl, healthy and growing.
32. The joy of watching her character and personality develop more day by day, month by month.
33. New milestones: rolling over, sitting up, eating solid food, recognizing a few familiar words and signs.
34. Squeals, chatter, raspberries.
35. First morning smiles.

36. A husband that brings in loads of wood to keep us warm all weekend while he's away.
37. A brother that calls from college to say hi.
38. A mother that finishes a love-project, long time in the making.
39. Great-grandparents that send valentine cards to their great-granddaughter (which she tries to eat and, in the process, gets glitter all over her face!)
40. Cousins who chat and make us laugh.

41. Grace. Both given and received. How much we all need it!

My Daughter's Eyes

I have always liked this song and now I can't listen to it without tearing up.

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes