Freedom!

"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, 

'In returning and rest you shall be saved; 

in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.'"

Isaiah 30:15

This is the favorite verse of one of the women in the ladies' Bible study Clara and I have been attending at our church over the past year. When I look back now and see all the ways God has been preparing us for this move, I am in awe. As I learned bit by bit about contentment, I was also learning about quietness and trust before God. This may not make sense, but bear with me. It is very easy for me to have faith in God. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He loves me, that He will always take care of me, that His way is best and that, even when I don't understand what He is doing, He is constantly working for my good and His glory. That part is so easy for me. What is so hard, as I said before, is waiting for my instructions. I have often pestered God for specifics. "Lord, just tell me what you want me to do!" The lack of absolutely clear directions from God has been an ongoing theme of frustration in my life for many years. I have been learning, almost without knowing it (isn't God so gentle with us!), to be quiet before God. To wait on Him. To trust that, not only is His plan perfect, but He will also show it to me in His perfect time.

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,

    and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.

For the Lord is a God of justice;

    blessed are all those who wait for him."

Isaiah 30:18

As we have waited on God, we have truly been blessed. The past two years have seen so much growth in our lives: in our marriage, in our walks with God, in our parenting, in our relationships with those around us, in our willingness to wait patiently and trust God. When I read this verse yesterday, it struck me hard. Not only were we waiting, but God was waiting too. This chapter in Isaiah talks mostly about how God's children were not willing to trust in Him or follow His plan - instead, they wanted to go their own way. With sadness, I can look back and see that in my own life as well. Yet God was waiting the whole time to be gracious to them and to show them mercy. How patient He is with us, slow learners that we are! The chapter continues:

"For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, 

but your eyes shall see your Teacher. 

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 

“This is the way, walk in it,” 

when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left." 

Isaiah 30:19-21

Oh, what precious promises! As I was sitting in church yesterday, thinking of all the incredible ways God has directed us and provided for us and abundantly supplied us beyond what we could think or imagine (Eph. 3:20), the bolded words above came to me and I looked them up as soon as I got home. You know, we prayed those same prayers over this decision as we did over the ranch in Texas? "Lord, make your way clear to us. We want to go. This seems like a good fit. But only if You want us there. Please, throw the door wide open or once again slam it shut." That was a scary prayer to pray. As Luke said to me one day, "I keep waiting for the door to slam again." But over and over it has been thrown wide open. With our eyes, we have seen our Teacher leading the way. We have watched Him work miracles on our behalf. He has no longer been hiding Himself, working in secret, but doing His mighty works right before our eyes. 

One more thing about this verse. Do you notice where the voice is heard? "Behind you..." Not in front of you, showing you the way before you have turned, but behind you, after you have already chosen. When God opened the "big" door and we were offered the job on Montana, it was our choice whether to walk through it or not. We knew we wanted to go and we had spent much time in prayer asking God to guide us, but we had to make the choice. There was no lightning bolt or thunderous voice saying, "Go!" But ever since we decided to move, we have heard that voice behind us, confirming in a million ways, "This is the way, walk in it." And we do not feel stuck anymore. Oh, no! Instead, we feel the thrilling freedom of walking in the way He has set before us.